The Cat, the Man, and the Boring Night

Nights like these are boring. I usually tend to just stare outside my window, a beer can in hand, wondering about my life and how I got up to this point. The bitter taste of my warm beer coated my tongue. Beer really is no good once it’s not cold anymore. I crumpled up the can and threw it out my window. There was a crash and a loud hiss that bellowed below. Probably just a stupid alley cat, I said to myself. I went to close the window when I heard a voice. 

“Did you throw that beer can at me?” I searched for the voice but couldn’t find it. 

It’s just my imagination I thought. 

“Hey loser with the five o’clock shadow,” I heard the same voice.

This time I checked each corner outside my window and that’s when I saw it. An ordinary alley cat staring at me. 

“Ya I’m talking to you,” it said to me without moving its lips. 

“You’re not real, I’m probably just drunk!” I said to the cat. 

“Well I’m as real as I can get bucko,” the cat scampered into my room landing on all fours. 

It walked around my tiny living room, though it seems like a cat can’t change its facial structure. I could tell it was judging me. 

“Jesus, what is this place? I’ve seen crack dens cleaner than this,” the cat looked at me and sat down on the floor. 

Guess I’ll just go with this, beats rewatching Buffy The Vampire Slayer for the umpteenth time. 

“What’s your name?”  

“Artemis,” the cat said. 

“Okay well, what do you want Artemis?”

“You were the one that threw a beer can at me,” his blank gaze annoyed me. 

I walked around Artemis as he kept a suspicious eye on me. My room began to feel somewhat claustrophobic, I never was a cat person and always preferred dogs. But ever since I moved to this crummy side of town all I heard were alley cats. Meowing, hissing, fighting, and sometimes something that isn’t too child friendly to say. I approached the kitchen and grabbed a plate of cold macaroni and cheese from the refrigerator. 

“Can I get some of that too?” Artemis asked. 

I looked back at him and saw him sitting in the same place, his eyes grew big like it was about to pop out of their sockets. 

“Sure,” I muttered. 

I grabbed another bowl and slapped in the Marchionni, getting to my table I placed my plate then set a bowl down. 

“Thank you,” Artemis stalked up to the bowl sticking his face down it. 

I ate with the constant noise of Artemis’s chewing. After the food was done I grabbed his plate from him and took mine to the sink. 

“You didn’t answer my question, what do you want?” I turned to face him. 

“Well I am looking for a place to say, it gets cold out there. Plus all those other cats are assholes. They’re always fighting over scrap,” he sighed. 

I didn’t know cats could sigh, but obviously, this was no ordinary cat. 

“I don’t really want a cat,” I shrugged my shoulders. 

He stopped to think about it, his ears folded down. 

“But I don’t have anywhere to go. Also, it’s not like you got much company around.”

“I have company,” I said defensively. 

“Sure,” he rolled his eyes. 

“Could I at least think about it?” 

“I guess so,” he got up and headed to the window. 

Hopping up on the windowsill he curved his body outward and looked ready to hop down, he looked back at me. 

“If you change your mind look out this window and say cotton ball.” 

“Cotton ball?” I felt confused. 

“Yea how else am I supposed to know if you changed your mind. He looked annoyed. 

“I can’t just say your name?” 

“Don’t make it complicated, just remember to say cotton ball.” 

He jumped down from the window before I was able to say anything. 

That was weird, I thought to myself. I reached to close my window then I went back to the couch. Guess Buffy the Vampire Slayer it is. 

Nahai 2021